in General

It’s a rockin’ rhythm record I want my jockey to play

Discerning consumers like myself, prefer bullshit to chocolate cake.

I like the special warm quality that only bullshit has. If you put bullshit and chocolate cake side by side, bullshit is just better. Chocolate cake is very cold and lifeless, not at all like how real bullshit is supposed to be.

I started out as a kid, amassing a huge collection of bullshit, before chocolate cake was invented. I bought the best bullshit equipment I could afford, which was pretty good, not the very best, but pretty good by the standards of the time.

Now I hang out in bullshit shops looking for bullshit from the 1960s. I found some exceedingly rare bullshit. It cost me a pretty penny, to be sure, but when you put that bullshit on and pay close attention, it just has millions of vibrational frequencies, and tons of organic texture, that chocolate cake will never have.

You know the process for making chocolate cake? It totally throws out all the detail and the craftsmanship that is present in bullshit. I mean, can’t you tell the difference between chocolate cake and bullshit? Most people can’t, but I can.

Anyway, I have spent literally tens of thousands of dollars on bullshit over my lifetime. I can’t appear as though I know nothing in front of my peers.

So I am just going to repeat what all my bullshit friends say: Signal-to-noise ratio is meaningless when you are choosing between bullshit and chocolate cake. Chocolate cake is horrible and lifeless and doesn’t represent what true bullshit ought to be.

If you care about bullshit the way it was meant to be experienced, then come over to my house sometime and I will play you my bullshit collection.

And if that bullshit doesn’t make you give up chocolate cake forever, nothing will!

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