It’s centrifugal motion, it’s perpetual bliss

Before the show, Jen McDearman enters the dressing room and says, “Did you get the note from George?

I look up from my Adult Happy Meal. McDonald’s is now selling Adult Happy Meals. They come in shiny cardboard boxes that sport exuberant marketing text. They include a large salad, a bottled water, and an adult toy.

In my case, my adult toy was a stepometer.

Yes, I know what you’re thinking, and I’m thinking the same thing, but it was just a stepometer.

“What note from George?” I spew, my mouth full of croutons.

Jen is a bare slip of a woman, a gregarious funny girl. Her round brown eyes blink. “He says that I should sneak on stage and watch you sing Mirror,” said Jen. “After you finish the song, George wants me to run up and give you a big kiss.”

“Um… What kind of kiss?” I asked, wiping Caesar dressing from my face.

“How the hell am I supposed to know?” she asked. “A big one!”

“Do you want this stepometer?” I asked.

GO ACTIVE! STEP WITH IT!” shouted the Adult Happy Meal.

I wonder if I taste like croutons.

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